Hello.

Back from the outing with dear RocaPhaze.
Got a few things for our performance.
Not complete yet though.
But we're getting there.

Money is such a huge problem.
Well, my parents do not know that I'm using my own money in the first place.
Because it's such an issue to them.
Whatever!
Secondly, I'm tight on cash.
Oh wait a second, I don't even have cash.
I'm so totally broke.
So broke that I had to ask Shahrul for a lend.
What the hell right, I so hate to ask people for money.
*Sigh*
But I'll be paying him back, when I can afford to do so.
Which seems a little far-fetched right now.
Because I owe my crewmate money too.
For buying the performance things with her money in the meantime.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I hate being in debt.
And what's worse is I have to save up to pay two people.
And I need money for myself.
When I save, I have to pay people back.
Then I need to save some more, for myself.
Damn.

Hari Raya please come sooner, while performance and all things related move further.
I just cant believe that so much things are coming at one go.
I get so confused.
And that table at IG blog is so freaking me out, despite the fact that I really need it, thanks Joann anyways, for the latter part of the sentence.
Well actually, Hari Raya please go away, but money come here quick.
Tak tau malu benar!

This is so busy man!
My parents are noisy about me being too commited to Hip Hop.
& IG is getting all hectic and busy with the performance date marching towards us like a wild horse.
I just want to shut everything out.
Shut it all out and go to sleep.
School, dance, home.
School, dance, home.
School, dance, home.
All the 3 things that is taking my time, even away from me, from my own self.

I don't even get the chance to read the books I borrowed from the library.
Not even a page.
It just doesn't seem important.
But it's a want.
And I've usually been the person who does what I want more than what I need to do.
Now, it's the other way around.

Don't forget the fact that it's been a while since I had the chance to sit back and think of my emotions carefully.
Whatever feelings I say are said at one thought.
Nothing deep.
What I mean is that, in the past, when I'm sad, I took some time to stop and think for a moment what's actually wrong, whether I'm really really sad.
But now, I don't do that, reason being I don't have the time to do so, ridiculous really.

And parents are not helping me.
Yup, I know so much that they don't support me in my passion.
But, least they could do is just shut the fuck up.
But no, they have to say this have to say that about it.
Everything of relation to it is never something they could just be happy for me about.
Making me really pissed.
Seriously, I know alot of people will say, "Oh parents nag because they care for you.".
But please, no, they are just self-centred.
There are many ways in life that they can show they care, but no, they have to choose the nag method.
Oh and the things they say to you, it's fine if they nag their worries.
But please, don't nag about what is wanted by them.
And they say unimportant things while the important things get hidden or lost.
End up rubbing the wrong way.

I'm going crazy.
I can just ask for a room in the Institute of Mental Health.
Since I know it's free.
Awww...I remember that conversation.
How I miss it.
How I miss you.