Life, understandably, is unfair.
But, what is the level of unfairness?
It's also understandable that unfairness comes where politics, rules and regulations, and things of sorts lies.
But, why does it occurs quite strongly even when it comes to family?
If it is about gender inequality, I think that is bullshit.
Because family should love everyone else in their family and treat them all equally, just for the basic reason that, it's family.
And if your family doesn't love and treat you as equal as the other members, then don't expect people out there to be fair.

What pisses me off more than anything, is that, you have the cheek to say that you treat all of us the same, when you are the No.1 person in here who treats me the most outcast.
Growing up, I thought things would turn out better, because the way I think should be more matured, and thus I'll be able to understand your behaviours, intentions, etcetra better.
But it turns out to be, plain worse.

Just because they stuff your mouth with money, everything about them is prioritzed.
Just because they stuff your mouth with money, they don't have to do anything they don't want to.
Just because they stuff your mouth with money, you don't nag at them.
Just because they stuff your mouth with money, you talk oh-so-gently to them.
Just because they stuff your mouth with money, they can do whatever they want.
Just because they stuff your mouth with money, they are your flesh and blood.
I'm sorry for sounding oh-so-rude, but frankly, that's the impression I got, and will continue to get.

I'm like a punching bag to you, aren't I?
Like what the hell.
The simplest you could have for me is respect because I am a human being.
But no, that is, I shall say again, too much to ask for.

It's the fasting month.
And I'm really trying to be patient.
Although I find myself most vulgar in this year's Ramadhan.
God forgive me.
Well, it just doesn't feel right.
I used to be so happy during the month, but this year round, I feel sucky.
As sucky as I feel right now.
Worse is, I don't know what's wrong.
I just feel like screaming, running, pissing, or shutting up.
At least it's not that violent, I hope.
I think, I'm demoralised.
I think, I might have lost my identity once again.
I think, I'm in an emotional rollercoaster.
I think, my hormones are playing me.
I think, I'm a fake for either being so cheerful, or being so down, I have no idea.

2weeks of Ramadhan has passed.
Left with 2 more weeks, before Hari Raya.
Not even sure if I'm looking forward to it.
I hate everything I have to do.
I hate everything I'm forced to do.